Collection of My Favourite Forwarded Mails

Success is not final. Failure is not fatal.

2009-06-10T22:49:00.001+05:30

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well.

The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

MORAL :

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up!
Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happens.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less from people but more from God.

You have two choices...smile and close this page,

or pass this along to someone else to share the lesson

....... I did!!

GOD BLESS YOU.....!

_ "Success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts"

The Little Boy Asks the Meaning of Life

2009-05-18T23:13:00.000+05:30

An eight‐year‐old boy approached an old man in front of a wishing well, looked up
into his eyes, and asked:
"I understand you're a very wise man. I'd like to know the secret of life."
The old man looked down at the youngster and replied:
"I've thought a lot in my lifetime, and the secret can be summed up in four words
The first is to “think”. Think about the values you wish to live your life by.
The second is to “believe”. Believe in yourself based on the thinking you've done
about the values you're going to live your life by.
The third is to “dream”. Dream about the things that can be, based on your belief
in yourself and the values you're going to live by.
The last is to “dare”. Dare to make your dreams become reality, based on your
belief in yourself and your values. "
And with that, Walter E. Disney said to the little boy, “Think, Believe, Dream, and
Dare”.

The Cookies

2009-05-18T23:12:00.000+05:30

You must have seen it in ads but have you learnt the lesson it taught. Go through
it…..
A woman was waiting at an airport one night, with several long hours before her
flight. She hunted for a book in an airport shop, bought a bag of cookies and
found a place to drop. She was engrossed in her book but happened to see that
the man sitting beside her, as bold as could be.
He grabbed a cookie or two from the bag in between, which she tried to ignore to
avoid a scene. So she munched the cookies and watched the clock, as the gutsy
cookie thief diminished her stock.
She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by, thinking, "If I wasn't so
nice, I would blacken his eye." With each cookie she took, he took one too. When
only one was left, she wondered what he would do.
With a smile on his face, and a nervous laugh, he took the last cookie and broke it
in half. He offered her half, as he ate the other. She snatched it from him and
thought... oooh, brother!
This guy has some nerve and he's also rude. Why he didn't even show any
gratitude! She had never known when she had been so galled and sighed with
relief when her flight was called. She gathered her belongings and headed to the
gate, refusing to look back at the thieving ingrate.
She boarded the plane and sank in her seat, and then she sought her book, which
was almost complete. As she reached in her baggage, she gasped with surprise,
there was her bag of cookies in front of her eyes.
If mine are here, she moaned in despair, the others were his, and he tried to
share.
Too late to apologize, she realized with grief that she was the rude one, the
ingrate, the thief.
How many times in our lives, have we absolutely known that something was a
certain way, only to discover later that what we believed to be true ... was not?

The power of words

2009-05-18T23:04:00.000+05:30

A group of frogs were travelling through the woods, and two of them fell into a
deep pit. All the other frogs gathered around the pit. When they saw how deep
the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead.
The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all
of their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as good
as dead.
Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave
up. He fell down and died. The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could.
Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He
jumped even harder and finally made it out. You see this frog was deaf, unable to
hear the others plea. He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.
This story teaches two lessons.
There is power of life and death in the tongue. An encouraging word to someone
who is down can lift them up and help them make it through the day. A
destructive word to someone who is down can be what it takes to kill him/her.
Be careful of what you say.
Speak life to those who cross your path. The power of words... it is sometimes
hard to understand that an encouraging word can go such a long way. So from
this day forward, think before you speak.

Nails in the Fence

2009-05-15T23:04:00.001+05:30

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of
nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into
the fence. The first day the boy had to drive 15 nails into the fence.
Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger the number of nails
hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his
temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father
about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day
that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was
finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have
done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the
same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can
put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm
sorry, the wound is still there."
A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are very rare jewels, indeed.
They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they
share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us.

The Wolves Within

2009-05-15T23:03:00.001+05:30

An old Grandfather, whose grandson came to him with anger at a schoolmate
who had done him an injustice, said, "Let me tell you a story. I too, at times, have
felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they
do. But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking
poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings
many times."
He continued, "It is as if there are two wolves inside me; one is good and does no
harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offence when no
offence was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right
way."
"But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit
of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think
because his anger and hate are so great. It is hard to live with these two wolves
inside me, for both of them try to dominant my spirit."
The boy looked intently into his Grandfather's eye and asked, "Which one wins,
Grandfather?"
The Grandfather solemnly said, "The one I feed."

Sharing please.............

2009-05-07T22:49:00.000+05:30

A holy man was having a conversation with God one day and said,
' God , I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like.'

God led the holy man to two doors.

He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in.

In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew, which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water.

The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished.

They were holding spoons with very long handles, that were strapped to their arms and each found it impossible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful.

But because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.

The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.

God said, 'You have seen Hell.'

They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one.

There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water.

The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking. The holy man said, 'I don't understand..'

It is simple,' said God . 'It requires but one skill.

You see they have learned to feed each other, while the greedy think only of themselves.'

Its estimated 93% won't forward this. If you are one of the 7% who will, forward this with the title '7%'.

I'm in the 7%

Remember that I will always share my spoon with you !.

Friends are the family that we choose for ourselves

How men get into trouble !!!

2009-05-01T12:23:00.000+05:30

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"

The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe.

"Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe.

"Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

******

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river.

When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"

"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with Jennifer Lopez.

"Is this your wife?" the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord.. It is a misunderstanding.

You see, if I had said 'no' to Jennifer Lopez , You would have come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Then if I said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three.

Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, so THAT'S why I said yes to Jennifer Lopez."

5 Minute Management Course

2009-05-01T12:19:00.000+05:30

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift..

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily

and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'

'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'

Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager..

The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after

lunch.'

Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'

The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'

'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:

Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your

friend.

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep

your mouth shut!

THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

Today's Professional Management FUNDAS

2009-04-20T22:38:00.000+05:30

1. "We will do it" means "You will do it"

2."You have done a great job" means "More work to be given to you"

3."We are working on it" means "We have not yet started working on the same"

4."Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means "Its not getting done "At least not tomorrow!"

5."After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views" means "I have already decided , I will tell you what to do"

6."There was a slight miscommunication" means "We had actually lied"

7."Lets call a meeting and discuss" means "I have no time now, will talk later"

8."We can always do it" means "We actually cannot do the same on time"

9."We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline" means "The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."

10."We had slight differences of opinion "means "We had actually fought"

11."Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you" means "Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"

12."You should have told me earlier" means "Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"

13."We need to find out the real reason" means " Well I will tell you where your fault is"

14."Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected," means, "Well you know..."

15."We are a team," means, "I am not the only one to be blamed"

16."That's actually a good question" means "I do not know anything about it"

17."All the Best" means "You are in trouble "

Peg After Peg....truly awesome..

2009-04-19T22:58:00.000+05:30

I never take risk while drinking

When I come from office in the evening, wife is cooking

I can hear the noise of utensils in the kitchen

I stealthily enter the house

Take out the bottle from my black cupboard

Shivaji Maharaj is looking at me from the photo frame

But still no one is aware of it

Becoz I never take a risk

I take out the glass from the rack above the old sink

Quickly enjoy one peg

Wash the glass and again keep it on the rack

Of course I also keep the bottle inside my cupboard

Shivaji Maharaj is giving a smile

I peep into the kitchen

Wife is cutting potatoes

No one is aware of what I did

Becoz I never take a risk

I to my wife : Any news on chopra's daughter's marriage

Wife : Nope, she doesn't seem to be that lucky. Still they are looking out for her

I again come out; there is a small noise of the black cupboard

But I don't make any sound while taking out the bottle

I take out the glass from the old rack above sink

Quickly enjoy one peg

Wash the bottle and keep it in the sink

Also keep the Black Glass in the cupboard

But still no one is aware of what I did

Becoz I never take a risk

I to Wife : But still I think chopra's daughter's age is not that much

Wife: What are you saying? She is 28 yrs old... like an aged horse

I: (I forgot her age is 28) Oh Oh...

I again take out potatoes out from my black cupboard

But the cupboard's place has automatically changed

I take out the bottle from the rack and quickly enjoy one peg in the sink

Shivaji Maharaj laughs loudly

I keep the rack in the potatoes & wash Shivaji Maharaj's photo & keep it in the black cupboard

Wife is keeping the sink on the stove

But still no one is aware of what I did

Becoz I never take a risk

I to Wife: (getting angry) you call Mr. chopra a horse? If you say that

again, I willcut your tongue...!

Wife: Don't just blabber something, go out and sit quietly...

I take out the bottle from the potatoes

Go in the black cupboard and enjoy a peg

Wash the sink and keep it over the rack

Wife is giving a smile

Shivaji Maharaj is still cooking

But still no one is aware of what I did

Becoz I never take a risk

I to Wife : (laughing) So chopra is marrying a horse!!

Wife: Hey go and sprinkle some water on your face...

I again go to the kitchen, and quietly sit on the rack

Stove is also on the rack

There is a small noise of bottles from the room outside

I peep and see that wife is enjoying a peg in the sink

But none of the horses are aware of what I did

Becoz Shivaji Maharaj never takes a risk

chopra is still cooking

And I am looking at my wife from the photo and laughing

Becoz I never take...... never take ..... never take what???

A poem by a Bengali school teacher

2009-04-14T10:08:00.001+05:30

Through the jongole I am went
On shooting Tiger I am bent

Boshtaard Tiger has eaten wife
No doubt I will avenge poor darling's life

Too much quiet, snakes and leeches
But I not fear these sons of beeches

Hearing loud noise I am jumping with start
But noise is coming from damn fool's heart

Taking care not to be fright
I am clutching rifle tight with eye to sight

Should Tiger come I will shoot and fall him down
Then like hero return to native town

Then through trees I am espying one cave
I am telling self - "Bannerjee be brave"

I am now proceeding with too much care
From far I smell this Tiger's lair

My leg shaking, sweat coming, I start pray
I think I will shoot Tiger some other day

Turning round I am going to flee
But Tiger giving bloody roar spotting Bengalee

He bounding from cave like footballer Pele
I run shouting "Kali Ma tumi kothay gele"

Through the jongole I am running
With Tiger on my tail closer looming

I am a telling that never in life
I will take risk again for my damn fool wife!!!!!

Top 15 Ways to Extend Your Laptop's Battery Life

2009-04-12T07:26:00.001+05:30

Laptops tend to lose their charm quickly when you’re constantly looking for the nearest power outlet to charge up. How do you keep your battery going for as long as possible? Here are 15 easy ways to do so.

1. Defrag regularly - The faster your hard drive does its work - less demand you are going to put on the hard drive and your battery. Make your hard drive as efficient as possible by defragging it regularly. (but not while it’s on battery of course!) Mac OSX is better built to handle fragmentation so it may not be very applicable for Apple systems.

2. Dim your screen - Most laptops come with the ability to dim your laptop screen. Some even come with ways to modify CPU and cooling performance. Cut them down to the lowest level you can tolerate to squeeze out some extra battery juice.

3. Cut down on programs running in the background. Itunes, Desktop Search, etc. All these add to the CPU load and cut down battery life. Shut down everything that isn’t crucial when you’re on battery.

4. Cut down external devices - USB devices (including your mouse) & WiFi drain down your laptop battery. Remove or shut them down when not in use. It goes without saying that charging other devices (like your iPod) with your laptop when on battery is a surefire way of quickly wiping out the charge on your laptop battery.

5. Add more RAM - This will allow you to process more with the memory your laptop has, rather than relying on virtual memory. Virtual memory results in hard drive use, and is much less power efficient. Note that adding more RAM will consume more energy, so this is most applicable if you do need to run memory intensive programs which actually require heavy usage of virtual memory.

6. Run off a hard drive rather than CD/DVD - As power consuming as hard drives are, CD and DVD drives are worse. Even having one in the drive can be power consuming. They spin, taking power, even when they?re not actively being used. Wherever possible, try to run on virtual drives using programs like Alcohol 120% rather than optical ones.

7. Keep the battery contacts clean: Clean your battery’s metal contacts every couple of months with a cloth moistened with rubbing alcohol. This keeps the transfer of power from your battery more efficient.

8. Take care of your battery - Exercise the Battery. Do not leave a charged battery dormant for long periods of time. Once charged, you should at least use the battery at least once every two to three weeks. Also, do not let a Li-On battery completely discharge. (Discharing is only for older batteries with memory effects)

9. Hibernate not standby - Although placing a laptop in standby mode saves some power and you can instantly resume where you left off, it doesn’t save anywhere as much power as the hibernate function does. Hibernating a PC will actually save your PC’s state as it is, and completely shut itself down.

10. Keep operating temperature down - Your laptop operates more efficiently when it’s cooler. Clean out your air vents with a cloth or keyboard cleaner, or refer to some extra tips by LapTopMag.com.

11. Set up and optimize your power options - Go to ‘Power Options’ in your windows control panel and set it up so that power usage is optimized (Select the ‘max battery’ for maximum effect).

12. Don’t multitask - Do one thing at a time when you’re on battery. Rather than working on a spreadsheet, letting your email client run in the background and listening to your latest set of MP3’s, set your mind to one thing only. If you don’t you’ll only drain out your batteries before anything gets completed!

13. Go easy on the PC demands - The more you demand from your PC. Passive activities like email and word processing consume much less power than gaming or playing a DVD. If you’ve got a single battery charge - pick your priorities wisely.

14. Get yourself a more efficient laptop - Laptops are getting more and more efficient in nature to the point where some manufacturers are talking about all day long batteries. Picking up a newer more efficient laptop to replace an aging one is usually a quick fix.

15. Prevent the Memory Effect - If you’re using a very old laptop, you’ll want to prevent the ‘memory effect’ - Keep the battery healthy by fully charging and then fully discharging it at least once every two to three weeks. Exceptions to the rule are Li-Ion batteries (which most laptops have) which do not suffer from the memory effect.

Bonus Tip #1: Turn off the autosave function. MS-Word’s and Excel’s autosave functions are great but because they keep saving regular intervals, they work your hard driver harder than it may have to. If you plan to do this, you may want to turn it back on as the battery runs low. While it saves battery life in the beginning, you will want to make sure your work is saved when your battery dies.

Bonus Tip #2: Lower the graphics use. You can do this by changing the screen resolution and shutting off fancy graphic drivers. Graphics cards (video cards) use as much or more power today as hard disks

Wonderful definitions of designations at office:

2009-04-12T07:24:00.001+05:30

1) Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.

2) Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.

3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.

4) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.

5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.

6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.

7) Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.

8) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby.

9) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the Right baby.

10) HR is a person who thinks that a donkey can deliver a human baby if given 9 months.

Some Thing Good

2009-03-31T14:03:00.001+05:30

3 Easy Ways to Die :

Take a Cigar daily - You will die 10 years early.

Drink Rum daily - You will die 30 years early.

Love Someone Truly - You will die daily.

1... One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :

Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD

After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY

2. Three FASTEST means of Communication :

1. Tele-Phone

2. Tele-Vision

3. Tell to Woman

Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANYONE..

3.. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest.

They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them.

Ant 1 says : we should KILL him.

Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone.

Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path..

Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.

4. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life.

If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.

5..Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.

Answer : On their MARRIAGE.

6.. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.

Because per Constitution, you can NOT BE PUNISHED TWICE for the same Mistake

Beauty of Mathematics !!!!!!!

2009-03-31T14:01:00.001+05:30

Beauty of Mathematics !!!!!!!

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn't it?

And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321

Now, take a look at this...

101%

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:

What Equals 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been in situations where someone wants you to GIVE OVER 100%.

How about ACHIEVING 101%?

What equals 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

If:
H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K
8+1+18+4+23+ 15+18+11 = 98%

And:

K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E
11+14+15+23+ 12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%

But:

A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E
1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%

THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:

L-O-V-E-O-F- G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:

While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!

It's up to you if you share this with your friends loved ones just the way I did..

Have a nice day God bless!!

Morals For Salesman

2009-03-31T13:57:00.000+05:30

A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the first house of the street.

A tall lady answered the door.

Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet.

"Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful Vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this dung!" exclaimed the eager salesman.

“Do you need chilly sauce or ketchup with that" .asked the lady.

The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?"

"There's no electricity in the house..." said the lady

MORAL: Gather all resources before committing and working on any thing...!!!

Waah Waah!!!

2009-03-31T13:51:00.000+05:30

Doobte hue aadmi ne
Pull par chalte hue aadmi ko

Aawaz lagayi "bachao bachao"

Pull par chalte aadmi ne neeche

Rassi fenki aur kaha aao...aao..

Nadi mein dobta hua aadmi

Rassi nahi pakad pa raha tha

Rah rah kar chillaa raha tha

Mein marna nahi chahta

Zindagi badi mehengi hai

Kal hi to meri ek MNC mein naukri lagi hai..

Itna sunte hi pul par chalte

Aadmi ne apni rassi kheench li

Aur bhagte bhagte wo MNC gaya

Usne wahan ke HR ko bataya ki

Abhi abhi ek aadmi doobkar mar gaya hai

Aur is tarah aapki company mein

Ek jagah khali kar gaya hai...

Mein berozgaar hoon muje le lo..

HR boli dost tumne der kar di,

ab se kuch der Pehle humne us aadmi ko lagaya hai

Jo usse dhakka de kar tumse pehle yahan aaya hai !!!

Enjoy Shaayri

2009-03-31T13:47:00.000+05:30

1) Tere Pyaar Mein Paagal Ho Gaya Peter ...

Waah! Waah

Tere Pyaar Mein Paagal Ho Gaya Peter ...

Waah! Waah!

Ab Hero Honda Splendor, 80 km Prati Litre .. !!

2) Bahaar Aane Se Pehle Fizaa Aa Gayii ...

Waah! Waah!

Bahaar Aane Se Pehle Fizaa Aa Gayii ...

Waah! Waah!

Phool Ko Khilne Se Pehle Bakri Kha Gayii .. !!

3) Aatma Chhod Gayii Shareer Puraana ...

Waah! Waah!

Aatma Chhod Gayii Shareer Puraana ...
Waah! Waah!

Didi Tera Devar Deewana .. !!

4) Saap Ne Piya Bakri Ka Khoon ...

Waah! Waah!

Saap Ne Piya Bakri Ka Khoon ...

Waah! Waah!

Good Afternoon! Good Afternoon! Good Afternoon!!

5) Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala ...

Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala ...

"Maa, Tata Sky Laga Daala To Life Jhingalala !!"

6 ) Hoton Pe "Haan" Hai ... Dil Mein "Naa" Hain ...

Hoton Pe "Haan" Hai ... Dil Mein "Naa" Hain ...

Shashi Kapoor Kehta Hai: "Mere Paas Maa Hai ..."

7) 2 Cockroach Gaana Gaa Rahe The : "Aashiq Banaaya Aapne" ...

Dono Marr Gaye ...

Because Gaana "HIT" Tha ...

8) Aapki Surat Mere Dil Mein Aise Bass Gayii Hai ...

Aapki Surat Mere Dil Mein Aise Bass Gayii Hai ...

Jaise Chhote Se Darwaaze Mein Bhains Phass Gayii Hai .. !!

9) Premika: "Aisa Khatt Likho Sajna, Ki Meri Umar Beet Jaaye Padhne Mein ... "

Premi: "$@# % #$ @ $ %#$ &&*
!@#@ &&*( )(&% %#$% %#$%#$
!#@!# ?<>":::<< $%^$% %#%"
@#@#!! ?>#$%^> $#$%&<<
#%$%""}}+ !@??>": @@#$$$?:@!!

Le Padh !!!"

DEATHS THAT MADE EVEN TOP DOCTORS WONDER...

2009-03-28T16:41:00.000+05:30

DEATHS THAT MADE EVEN TOP DOCTORS WONDER...

This case happened in a hospital's Intensive care ward

where Patients always died in the same bed

and on all Sunday morning at 11a.m,

regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to
do with the supernatural.

No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM.

So a world-wide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down
to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents.

So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m. all doctors and
nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves

what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden
crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil........

Just when the clock struck 11...

and then......

Santa , the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and
Unplugged the life support system & plugged in the vacuum cleaner!!!!!!!!!!

salt has a great number of uses

2009-03-16T23:52:00.001+05:30

Although you may not realize it, simple table salt has a great number of uses other than simply seasoning your food. The following list will give you sixty uses of salt, many of which you probably didn't realize:

1. Soak stained hankies in salt water before washing.

2. Sprinkle salt on your shelves to keep ants away.

3. Soak fish in salt water before descaling; the scales will come off easier.

4. Put a few grains of rice in your salt shaker for easier pouring.

5. Add salt to green salads to prevent wilting..

6. Test the freshness of eggs in a cup of salt water; fresh eggs sink; bad ones float.

7. Add a little salt to your boiling water when cooking eggs; a cracked egg will stay in its shell this way.

8. A tiny pinch of salt with egg whites makes them beat up fluffier.

9. Soak wrinkled apples in a mildly salted water solution to perk them up.

10. Rub salt on your pancake griddle and your flapjacks won't stick.

11. Soak toothbrushes in salt water before you first use them; they will last longer.
12. Use salt to clean your discolored coffee pot.

13. Mix salt with turpentine to whiten you bathtub and toilet bowl.

14. Soak your nuts in salt brine overnight and they will crack out of their shells whole. Just tap the end of the shell with a hammer to break it open easily.

15. Boil clothespins in salt water before using them and they will last longer.

16. Clean brass, copper and pewter with paste made of salt and vinegar, thickened with flour

17. Add a little salt to the water your cut flowers will stand in for a longer life.

18. Pour a mound of salt on an ink spot on your carpet; let the salt soak up the stain.

19. Clean your iron by rubbing some salt on the damp cloth on the ironing surface.

20. Adding a little salt to the water when cooking foods in a double boiler will make the food cook faster.

21. Use a mixture of salt and lemon juice to clean piano keys.

22. To fill plaster holes in your walls, use equal parts of salt and starch, with just enough water to make a stiff putty.

23. Rinse a sore eye with a little salt water.

24. Mildly salted water makes an effective mouthwash. Use it hot for a sore throat gargle.

25. Dry salt sprinkled on your toothbrush makes a good tooth polisher.

26. Use salt for killing weeds in your lawn.

27. Eliminate excess suds with a sprinkle of salt.

28. A dash of salt in warm milk makes a more relaxing beverage.

29. Before using new glasses, soak them in warm salty water for awhile.

30. A dash of salt enhances the taste of tea. ?

31. Salt improves the taste of cooking apples.

32. Soak your clothes line in salt water to prevent your clothes from freezing to the line; likewise, use salt in your final rinse to prevent the clothes from freezing.

33. Rub any wicker furniture you may have with salt water to prevent yellowing.

34. Freshen sponges by soaking them in salt water.

35. Add raw potatoes to stews and soups that are too salty.

36. Soak enamel pans in salt water overnight and boil salt water in them next day to remove burned-on stains.

37. Clean your greens in salt water for easier removal of dirt.

38. Gelatin sets more quickly when a dash of salt is added.

39. Fruits put in mildly salted water after peeling will not discolor.

40. Fabric colors hold fast in salty water wash..

41. Milk stays fresh longer when a little salt is added.

42. Use equal parts of salt and soda for brushing your teeth.

43. Sprinkle salt in your oven before scrubbing clean.

44. Soaked discolored glass in a salt and vinegar solution to remove stains..

45. Clean greasy pans with a paper towel and salt.

46. Salty water boils faster when cooking eggs.

47. Add a pinch of salt to whipping cream to make it whip more quickly.

48. Sprinkle salt in milk-scorched pans to remove odor.

49. A dash of salt improves the taste of coffee..

50. Boil mismatched hose in salty water and they will come out matched.

51. Salt and soda will sweeten the odor of your refrigerator.

52. Cover wine-stained fabric with salt; rinse in cool water later.

53. Remove offensive odors from stove with salt and cinnamon.

54. A pinch of salt improves the flavor of cocoa.

55. To remove grease stains in clothing, mix one part salt to four parts alcohol.

56. Salt and lemon juice? Removes mildew.

57. Sprinkle salt between sidewalk bricks where you don't want grass growing.

58. Polish your old kerosene lamp with salt for a better look.

59. Remove odors from sink drainpipes with a strong, hot solution of salt water.

60. If a pie bubbles over in your oven, put a handful of salt on top of the spilled juice. The mess won't smell and will bake into a dry, light crust which will wipe off easily when the oven has cooled

Excuse me

2009-03-12T22:33:00.000+05:30

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces

height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts,

'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I Would meet him half an
hour ago, but I don't know where I am.'

The man below says,
'Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, Hovering
approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42
degrees North latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees West Longitude.'

'You must be a programmer,' says the balloonist.

'I am,' replies the man. 'How did you know?'

'Well,' says the balloonist, 'everything you have told me is Technically
correct, but I have no idea what to make of your Information and the fact
is I am still lost.'

The man below says, 'You must be a project manager 'I am,' replies the
balloonist, 'but how did you know?'

'Well,' says the man, 'you don't know where you are, or where You are
going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to Keep, and you
expect me to solve your problem.'

What if u upgraded Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0..

2009-03-06T16:20:00.000+05:30

What if u upgraded Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0

Dear Tech Support Team:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0.

I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0 , BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the 'uninstall ' doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!

Thanks,
"A Troubled User "

REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that people complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING !!!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0.

It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. (Look in your Wife 1.0 Manual under Warnings-Alimony- Child Support) ..

I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the environment.

I suggest installing the background application " Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5 .

Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend
Sarees 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0

How to stop those credit card calls

2009-03-06T16:09:00.001+05:30

1. After the telemarketer finishes speaking, ask him/her to marry you.

2. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment, and ask him/her, if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back.

3. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

4. Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

5. Tell them that all business goes through your agent, and hand the phone to your five year old child.

6. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up....louder...louder...louder!

7. Tell them to speak very slowly because you want to write every word down.

8. If they start out with, "How are you today?",say "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems............."

9. Cry out in surprise, "Helen, is that you? I've been hoping you'd call! How is the family?" When they insist they are not Helen, tell them to stop joking. This works especially well if the telemarketer is really MALE.

10. Tell the ICICI call center guy to call on your Office number.- and give him the HSBC call center number.

Interview

2009-03-04T22:34:00.000+05:30

Interviewer: Let me check your word Power...
PopatRao : Ok Sir .....

Interviewer : Tell me the opposite of .....good.
PopatRao: hmmmm..... Bad
Interviewer : Come
PopatRao: Go.
Interviewer : Ugly.
PopatRao: Pichlli.
Interviewer : PICHLLIIIII?
PopatRao: UGLYYYYYYYYY..

Interviewer : Shut Up.
PopatRao: Keep Talking.
Interviewer Ok now stop these all..
PopatRao: now carry on this all
Interviewer :abe...chup ho ja..chup ho ja..chup ho jaaaa
PopatRao:abe bolta rah..bolta rah..bolta rahhh
Interviewer :Areeee yaaar
PopatRao: areeee dushmannnnnn
Interviewer : Get Out.
PopatRao: Come In.
Interviewer : Oh my God.
PopatRao : Oh my Devil.
Interviewer : U r Rejected.
PopatRao: I m selected...Thank u thank u sir

So you believe in God

2009-03-02T22:16:00.000+05:30

Don't miss even a single word... Too good

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, The Almighty.
He asks one of his new students to stand and.....
Prof:
So you believe in God?
Student:
Absolutely, sir.
Prof
: Is God good?
Student:
Sure..
Prof:
Is God all-powerful?
Student
: Yes.
Prof:
My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him.
Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm?
(Student is silent.)
Prof:
You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?
Student:
Yes.
Prof:
Is Satan good?
Student
: No.
Prof:
Where does Satan come from?
Student:
From...God.....
Prof:
That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student:
Yes.
Prof:
Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?
Student:
Yes.
Prof:
So who created evil?
(Student does not answer.)
Prof:
Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?
Student:
Yes, sir.
Prof:
So, who created them?
(Student has no answer.)
Prof:
Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you.
Tell me, son...Have you ever
seen God?
Student:
No, sir.
Prof:
Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
Student:
No, sir.
Prof:
Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
Student:
No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
Prof:
Yet you still believe in Him?
Student:
Yes.
Prof:
According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist.
What do you say to that, son?
Student:
Nothing. I only have my faith.
Prof:
Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.
Student:
Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Prof:
Yes.
Student:
And is there such a thing as cold?
Prof:
Yes.
Student:
No sir. There isn't.
(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)
Student
: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat.
But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that.
There is no such thing as cold . Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat . We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy . Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it .(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)
Student:
What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Prof:
Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?
Student :
You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright
light, flashing light....But if
you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? In
reality, darkness isn't. If it were you would be able to make
darkness darker, wouldn't you?
Prof:
So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student:
Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Prof:
Flawed? Can you explain how?
Student:
Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it.
Now tell me, Professor.Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
Prof:
If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Student:
Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.)
Student:
Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher? (The class is in uproar.)
Student:
Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?
(The class breaks out into laughter.)
Student
: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain,sir.
With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable.)
Prof:
I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.
Student:
That is it sir.... The link between man & god is FAITH . That is all that keeps things moving & alive.

NB: I believe you have enjoyed the conversation...and if so...you'll probably want your friends/colleagues to enjoy the same...won't you?....
this is a true story,

A Small Story…

2009-02-24T10:55:00.000+05:30

A boy and a girl were playing together. The boy had a collection of marbles. The girl had some sweets with her. The boy told the girl that he will give her all his marbles in exchange for her sweets. The girl agreed.
The boy kept the biggest and the most beautiful marble aside and gave the rest to the girl. The girl gave him all her sweets as she had promised.
That night, the girl slept peacefully. But the boy couldn't sleep as he kept wondering if the girl had hidden some sweets from him the way he had hidden his best marble.
Moral of the story: If you don't give your hundred percent in a relationship, you'll always keep doubting if the other person has given his/her hundred percent.. This is applicable for any relationship like love, friendship, employer-employee relationship etc., Give your hundred percent to everything you do and sleep peacefully "

WHAT TREE DID YOU FALL FROM ?

2009-02-20T10:04:00.000+05:30

Find your birthday and then find your tree. This is really cool and somewhat accurate. Then send it to your friends, including the one that sent it to you, so they can find out what tree they fell from, but don't forget to change the subject line to your tree. Find your tree below and see what you are like...

Jan 01 to Jan 11 - Fir Tree
Jan 12 to Jan 24 - Elm Tree
Jan 25 to Feb 03 - Cypress Tree
Feb 04 to Feb 08 - Poplar Tree
Feb 09 to Feb 18 - Cedar Tree
Feb 19 to Feb 28 - Pine Tree
Mar 01 to Mar 10 - Weeping Willow Tree
Mar 11 to Mar 20 - Lime Tree
Mar 21 (only) - Oak Tree
Mar 22 to Mar 31 - Hazelnut Tree
Apr 01 to Apr 10 - Rowan Tree
Apr 11 to Apr 20 - Maple Tree
Apr 21 to Apr 30 - Walnut Tree
May 01 to May 14 - Poplar Tree
May 15 to May 24 - Chestnut Tree
May 25 to Jun 03 - Ash Tree
Jun 04 to Jun 13 - Hornbeam Tree
Jun 14 to Jun 23 - Fig Tree
Jun 24 (only) - Birch Tree
Jun 25 to Jul 04 - Apple Tree
Jul 05 to Jul 14 - Fir Tree
Jul 15 to Jul 25 - Elm Tree
Jul 26 to Aug 04 - Cypress Tree
Aug 05 to Aug 13 - Poplar Tree
Aug 14 to Aug 23 - Cedar Tree
Aug 24 to Sep 02 - Pine Tree
Sep 03 to Sep 12 - Weeping Willow Tree
Sep 13 to Sep 22 - Lime Tree
Sep 23 (only) - Olive Tree
Sep 24 to Oct 03 - Hazelnut Tree
Oc t 04 to Oct 13 - Rowan Tree
Oct 14 to Oct 23 - Maple Tree
Oct 24 to Nov 11 - Walnut Tree
Nov 12 to Nov 21 - Chestnut Tree
Nov 22 to Dec 01 - Ash Tree
Dec 02 to Dec 11 - Hornbeam Tree
Dec 12 to Dec 21 - Fig Tree
Dec 22 (only) - Beech Tree
Dec 23 to Jan 01 - Apple Tree

TREES (in alphabetical order)

Apple Tree (Love) -- quiet and shy a t times, lots of ch arm, appeal, and attraction, pleasant attitude, flirtatious smile, adventurous, sensitive, loyal in love, wants to love and be loved, faithful and tender partner, very generous, many talents, loves children, needs affectionate partner.

Ash Tree (Ambition) -- extremely attractive, vivacious, impulsive, demanding, does not care for criticism, ambitious, intelligent, talented, likes to play with fate, can be very egotistic, reliable, restless lover, sometimes money rules over the heart, demands attention, needs love and much emotional support.

Beech Tree (Creative) -- has good taste, concerned about its looks, materialistic, good organization of life and career, economical, good leader, takes no unnecessary risks, reasonable, splendid lifetime companion, keen on keeping fit (diets, sports, etc.).

Birch Tree (Inspiratio n) -- vivacious, attractive, elegant,friendly, unpretentious, modest, does not like anything in excess, abhors the vulgar, loves life in nature and in calm, not very passionate, full of imagination, little ambition, creates a calm and content atmosphere.

Cedar Tree (Confidence) -- of rare strength, knows how to adapt, likes unexpected presents, of good health, not in the least shy, tends to look down on others, self-confident, a great speaker, determined, often impatient, likes to impress others, has many talents, industrious, healthy optimism, waits for the one true love, able to make quick decisions.

Chestnut Tree (Honesty) -- of unusual stature, impressive,
well-developed sense of justice, fun to be around, a planner, born diplomat, can be irritated easily, sensitive of others feelings, hard worker, sometimes acts superior, feels not understood at time s, fiercely famil y oriented, very loyal in love, physically fit.

Cypress Tree (Faithfulness) -- strong, muscular, adaptable, takes what life has to give but doesn't necessarily like it, strives to be content, optimistic, wants to be financially independent, wants love and affection, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered at times, can be unruly and careless, loves to
gain knowledge, needs to be needed.

Elm Tree (Noble-mindedness) -- pleasant shape, tasteful clothes, modest demands, tends not to forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead but not to obey, honest and faithful partner, likes making decisions for others, noble-minded, generous, good sense of humor, practical.

Fig Tree (Sensibility) -- very strong minded, a bit self-willed, honest, loyal, independent, hates contr adiction or argu ments, hard worker when wants to be, loves life and friends, enjoys children and animals, sexually oriented, great sense of humor, has artistic talent and great intelligence.

Fir tree (Mysterious) -- extraordinary taste, handles stress well, loves anything beautiful, stubborn, tends to care for those close to them, hard to trust others, yet a social butterfly, likes idleness and laziness after long demanding hours at work, rather modest, talented, unselfish, many friends, very reliable.

Hazelnut Tree (Extraordinary) -- charming, sense of humor, very demanding but can also be very understanding, knows how to make a lasting impression, active fighter for social causes and politics, popular, quite moody, sexually oriented, honest, a perfectionist, has a precise sense of judgment and expects complete fairness.

Hornbeam Tr ee ( Good Taste) -- of cool beauty, cares for its looks and condition, good taste, is not egoistic, makes life as comfortable as possible, leads a reasonable and disciplined life, looks for kindness and acknowledgment in an emotional partner, dreams of unusual lovers, is seldom happy with its feelings, mistrusts most people, is never sure of its decisions, very conscientious.

Lime Tree (Doubt) - intelligent, hard working, accepts what life dishes out, but not before trying to change bad circumstances into good ones, hates fighting and stress, enjoys getaway vacations, may appear tough, but is actually soft and relenting, always willing to make sacrifices for family and friends, has many talents but not always enough time to
use them, great leadership qualities, is jealous at times but extremely loyal.

Maple Tree (Independence of Mind) -- no ordinary person, full of imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-confident, hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous, has many complexities, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, wants to impress.

Oak Tree (Brave) -- robust nature, courageous, strong, unrelenting, independent, sensible, does not like change, keeps its feet on the ground, person of action.

Olive Tree (Wisdom) -- loves sun, warmth and kind feelings, reasonable, balanced, avoids aggression and violence, tolerant, cheerful, calm, well-developed sense of justice, sensitive, empathetic, free of jealousy, loves to read and the company of sophisticated people.

Pine Tree (Peacemaker) -- loves agreeable company, craves peace and harmony, loves to help others, active imagination, likes to write poetry, not fashion conscious, great compassio n, friendly to all, falls strongly in love but will leave if betrayed or lied to, emotionally soft, low self esteem, needs affection and reassurance.

Poplar Tree (Uncertainty) -- looks very decorative, talented, not very self-confident, extremely courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, great artistic nature, good organizer, tends to lean toward philosophy, reliable in any situation, takes partnership seriously.

Rowan Tree (Sensitivity) -- full of charm, cheerful, gifted without egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest, and even complications, is both dependent and independent, good taste, artistic, passionate, emotional, good company, does not forgive.

Walnut Tree (Passion) -- unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egotisti c, aggressive , noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromise.

Weeping Willow (Melancholy) - likes to be stress free, loves family life, full of hopes and dreams, attractive, very empathetic, loves anything beautiful, musically inclined, loves to travel to exotic places, restless, capricious, honest, can be influenced but is not easy to live with when pressured, sometimes demanding, good intuition, suffers in love until they find that one loyal, steadfast partner; loves to make others laugh.

MAKE NOTEPAD YOUR PERSONNEL DIARY

2009-02-18T22:31:00.000+05:30

There is a simple feature in Notepad that can make it work like a personal diary for you.Here is how to go about it:


1.Firstly open a blank Notepad file.

2. Now write .LOG as the first line in the file, then press enter. Now save the file and close it.

3.Open the notepad file now and you will find that the current date and time has been appended(put) at the end and the cursor is in the next line.

4. Type your notes and then save and close the file.

5. Each time you open the file, Notepad repeats the process,that is it appends the date and time to the end of the file and places the cursor below it.

COOL FIREFOX TRICKS

2009-02-18T22:27:00.000+05:30

Some Cool Firefox Tricks That Might Make You Crazy!!
TYPE
* chrome://browser/content/browser.xul in the URL space and hit enter:: Opens another Firefox inside a tab in the the existing Firefox window.
* chrome://browser/content/preferences/preferences.xul :: Opens the Options dialog box inside the Firefox tab.
* chrome://browser/content/bookmarks/bookmarksPanel.xul :: Opens the “Book Marks Manager” inside a tab in the Firefox window.
* chrome://browser/content/history/history-panel.xul :: Opens the History Panel in the Firefox tab.
* chrome://mozapps/content/extensions/extensions.xul?type=extensions :: Opens the Extensions window in the current tab.
* chrome://browser/content/preferences/cookies.xul :: Opens the “cookies window” inside a tab in the Firefox window.
* chrome://browser/content/preferences/sanitize.xul :: Opens the “Clear Private Data” window inside the current tab.
* chrome://browser/content/aboutDialog.xul :: Opens the “About Firefox” Dialog box inside the tab.
* chrome://browser/content/credits.xhtml :: A scrolling list of names. The one’s who we must thank for creating Firefox

Programmers life

2009-02-18T22:24:00.000+05:30

1.Two Recursive functions calling each other
Mujhe kuchh kehna hein
mujhe bhi kuchh kehna hein
pehle tum, pehle tum

2. The debugger
Jab koi baat bigad jaye
Jab koi mushkil pad jaye
Tum dena saath mera hamnawaz

3. From VC++ to VB
Yeh haseen vaadiyan
Yeh khula asmaan
Aa gaye hum kahan

4. Untrackable bug --
aye ajnabi, tu bhi kabhi,
awaaz de kahin se

5. Unexpected bug (esp. during presentation to client)
Ye kya hua, Kaise hua, Kab hua, Kyon hua

6. And then to the client
Jab hua, Tab hua, O chhodo, ye na socho

7. Load Balancing
Saathi haath badhana
ek akela thak jayega
mil kar bojh uthana

8. Modem - talk on a busy connection
suno - kaho,
kaha - suna,
kuch huwa kya?
Abhee to nahin...
kuch bi nahin

9. Windows getting open sourced
Parde mein rahne do
parda na uthao
parda jo uth gaya to bhed khul jayeha
allah meri tauba, allah meri tauba

10. Local variable
Jeena Yahan Marna Yahan,
Iske siva Jana kaahan.

11. Global variable
Musafir hoon yaaron,
na ghar hai na thikana

12. Null pointers
Mera jeevan kora kagaz kora hi reh gaya ..

13. Dangling pointers
Maut bhi aati nahi jaan bhi jati nahin.

14. GOTO
Ajeeb dastan hai yeh
Kahan shuru kahan khatam
Ye manzilen hain kaun si
Na woh samajh sake na hum

15. Hidden or Private scope Variable/value
Jaanejan dhoondta phir raha,
Hoon tujhe raat din,
main yahan se wahan

What is recession?

2009-02-18T10:43:00.000+05:30

What is recession?

This Story is about a man who once upon a time was selling Hotdogs by the roadside.

He was illiterate, so he never read newspapers.

He was hard of hearing, so he never listened to the radio.

His eyes were weak, so he never watched television.

But enthusiastically, he sold lots of hotdogs.

He was smart enough to offer some attractive schemes to increase his sales.

His sales and profit went up.

He ordered more a more raw material and buns and use to sale more.

He recruited few more supporting staff to serve more customers.

He started offering home deliveries. Eventually he got himself a bigger and better stove.

As his business was growing, the son, who had recently graduated from College, joined his father.

Then something strange happened.

The son asked, "Dad, aren’t you aware of the great recession that is coming our way?"

The father replied, "No, but tell me about it." The son said, "The international situation is terrible.

The domestic situation is even worse. We should be prepared for the coming bad times."

The man thought that since his son had been to college, read the papers, listened to the radio and watched TV.

He ought to know and his advice should not be taken lightly.

So the next day onwards, the father cut down the his raw material order and buns, took down the colorful signboard, removed all the special schemes he was offering to the customers and was no longer as enthusiastic.

He reduced his staff strength by giving layoffs.

Very soon, fewer and fewer people bothered to stop at his hotdog stand.

And his sales started coming down rapidly, same is the profit.

The father said to his son, "Son, you were right".

"We are in the middle of a recession and crisis. I am glad you warned me ahead of time."

MORAL OF THE STORY: It´s all in your MIND! And we actually FUEL this recession much more than it is.

Self Appraisal

2009-02-16T22:17:00.001+05:30

A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone. He climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits (phone number).

The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:

Boy : "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?

Woman : (at the other end of the phone line) "I already have someone to cut my lawn."

Boy : "Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now."

Woman : I'm very satisfied with the person who is presently cutting my lawn.

Boy : (with more perseverance) "Lady, I'll even sweep your curb and your sidewalk, so, on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of Palm beach , Florida ."

Woman : No, thank you.

With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy.

Store Owner : "Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job."

Boy : "No thanks,

Store Owner : But you were really pleading for one.

Boy : No Sir, I was just checking my performance at the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady I was talking to!"

This is what we call

"Self Appraisal"

why call centre gUys paid so much ?

2009-02-15T22:04:00.000+05:30

TAKE A LOOK:

1 ) Tech Support : "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer : "Ok."
Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
this point?"
Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

------------ --------- --------- --------- -

2) Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am still
getting the same error message."
Tech Support : "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

3)Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support : "Tell me what you've done."
Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech Support : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer : "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

4).Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

5). Tech Support : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen,
can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
Tech support : ??????

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

6) Tech Support : "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer : "A white one."
Tech support : ?????

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

7). Tech Support : "What operating system are you running?"
Customer : "Pentium."
Tech support : ??????

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

8).Cus tomer : "I have Microsoft Exploder."
Tech Support : ??????

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

9). Customer : "How do I print my voicemail?"
Tech support : ??????

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

10). Customer : "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to
print document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support : "What does it say?"
Customer : "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support : "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
Tech support : ?????

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

11). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open
24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

12). Tech Support : "What does the screen say now?"
Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support : "Well?"
Customer : "How do I know when it's ready?"
Tech support : ??????

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

The best of the lot
13). A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that
his computer is faulty.
Tech: What's the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: (keep quite)
Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup
and it will fix the
problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
Tech support::
10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech
is frustrated and fed up.
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there
is an undocumented DOS
command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM <http://nosmoke. com/> http://nosmoke. com/> http://nosmoke. com/ > at
the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User : It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User : MS-DOS 6.22 .
Tech : That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with
NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you
the file. Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User : I need a new power supply.
Tech support : How did you come to that conclusion?
User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he
started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Hight Of all (Too Good)

14) customer care officer: I need a product identification number
right now and may I help u in
finding it out?
Customer: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?
Cust: I did left click but how do I find your computer?

How to Propose A Guy

2009-02-15T21:50:00.000+05:30

An unusual thing some time back, the idea of proposal to a guy is quite in these days. But, some girls still hesitate to take this step. And one of the major issues that further add to their reluctance is "how to propose a boy". So, as a solution to this problem, we are providing you with some ideas for proposing a guy on Valentine's Day. However, these generic ideas can be used whenever you want to propose that someone special, Valentine's Day or not.

If you can afford it, hire a billboard near his house. Flash your message on it. But, please do make sure that he sees the same. Otherwise, all your efforts will lead to no results.

Girls are not the only ones who love flowers. Keep sending him flowers every hour on the day you want to propose. And with the last one, send a message expressing your feelings.

Another way is to shower him with flower petals or laying a carpet of flower petals to walk on. When the showering or the carpet ends, go down on your knees and tell him how much you love him.

Make a video, telling him about your feelings like how much you love him and care for him. Get this cassette or CD delivered to him and wait for his reply. Better still, be with him when he watches the video. You will get to see his immediate reaction.

Take him out for some romantic movie. With the help of the theater staff, display the words "I Love You (Name)" or "(Name), Will You Marry Me", just before the movie starts.

Another way of proposing is to announce it on the radio. But, first make sure that he listens to the radio and is tuned on the same station on which you are going to make the announcement.

How to Propose A Girl

2009-02-15T21:49:00.000+05:30

Are you hounded by the question of "how to propose a girl". As a solution to your problem, we are giving you some ideas for proposal to a girl. One of the things to keep in mind while proposing is that girls are usually more sensitive than guys and they like subtle ways of proposal. However, each and every girl is different from the other and the way of proposal should suit the temperament of the particular girl you are about to propose.

Still, on the basis of the usual personality traits of all girls, we are giving some generic ideas for proposing a girl on Valentine's Day as well as any other day:

*

"Old is Gold", this age-old adage comes true in the context of the all time favorite idea of proposing a girl by going down on the knees. This technique may be old, but it still helps in melting a girl's heart.

*

There is no need for using fanciful or big grandiloquent words to impress her. Rather, it may prove to be a big turn off. The best way is to express your true feeling in the simplest manner.

*

To show that you really care for her. Invite her to a quiet and romantic dinner for just the two of you, at your place. Prepare all her favorite dishes and play her favorite music. Along with your love, it will also show how much you know about her.

*

Prepare a banner, with the words "I Love You" or "Will You Marry Me". Stick this banner outside her home or her office, where she is bound to notice it. Please do not use her name on that banner. Better to use some nickname that only you two know of.

*

If you can afford, sky writing your proposal is an excellent idea. But make sure that you are with her when the proposal is written.

*

Proposing at the same place where both of you met for the first time or the place both of you have fond memories of, is a good idea.

*

If you have some beaches nearby, drive there in the evening. With soft music playing in your car, propose her when the sun is setting. The whole ambience will make her go weak in the knees.

HOW TO ASK YOUR BOSS FOR A SALARY INCREASE..?

2009-02-14T22:17:00.001+05:30

Subject: HOW TO ASK YOUR BOSS FOR A SALARY INCREASE..?

HOW TO ASK YOUR BOSS
FOR A SALARY INCREASE..?

One day an employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an increase in his salary !!!

Dear Bo$$

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding the need$of u$.We are worker$who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company ..
I am $ure you will gue$$what I meant and re$pond $oon.

Your$$incerely,

The next day, the employee received this letter of reply:

Dear

I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOw a days, NOthing much has changed. You must haveNOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticably well . NOw the newspapers are saying the world's leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad. I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean .

---- Your Boss.----

Happy Valentines Day!

2009-02-14T22:04:00.000+05:30

Happy Valentines Day!

Urgent vacancy for the post of Girl Friend

Applications are invited for the following post. The package and incentives are mentioned below.

Designation : Junior girl friend (trainee)
Experience : Must have ditched at least 2 guys (Fresher with excellent credentials will be considered)
Other requirement : Should have the Potential to do street bargaining and fight if required.

Age : 18-26 (if the individual is too good looking but not in the age group can also apply, special consideration will undertaken for them)
Height, weight, complexions no bar, but is subjective.

Perks and incentives:
Total gross ( Monthly ) :
· 2 gifts worth not exceeding Rs. 1000/-(no precious metals, stones)
· bike rides each duration 1 hour
· trips to National Highways
· 5 Trips to Hanuman Mandir / Isckon Temple
· Kulfis / Chocobars at a regular gap of 3 days
· Daily Provision of Samosa/Bread Pakoda/Bhel worth Rs. 10 /-
· 2 movies (Family movies only) per month (on weekends)
· Visits to Shopping Malls and BARISTA every Weekend (On your own expense)

A Pair of Jeans or T-shirts according to demand will be gifted, subject to finance availability and to the size available with the shopkeeper.

Net Deductions (Monthly): Affair Fund and un-professional taxes will be informed on joining
The probation period is 6 months, after which confirmation (with Promotion to fulltime Girlfriend)

Plz NOTE:
1. Only females.
2. Girls who left in the last 2 months need not apply.
3. Ex-girlfriends will be eligible only if they agree to the above mentioned conditions.

There is more:
For girls who are not eligible, can take advantage of the referral. Program by referring their friend, colleagues etc.

Candle light or Tube light dinner will be given on every referral, even if candidate is not selected.

Search,,,,,, , never ends!!
Interested candidates can send their resume with

Subject:
Name/fresher- exp/age.
Photo must be in attachment. to the email address via mail
Note: Applications without photo will be rejected.

Winners never quit, quitters never Win

2009-02-14T21:58:00.000+05:30

It is a 99.95% challenge that u will have a wrong answer to the question
asked in the passage.

Once there was loving couple traveling in a bus in a mountainous area. They
decided to get down at some place. After the couple got down at some place
the bus moved on. As the bus moved on, a huge rock fell on the bus from the
mountain and crushed the bus to crumbs. Everybody on board was killed. The
couple upon seeing that, said, "We wish we were on that bus" Why do u think
they said that?

Scroll down for answer

.....
.....

Come on think again .....

....
.....
.....
.....
.....
.....
.....
.....
Come on try hard.....

.....
.....
.....
.....
.....
.....
.....

------------------- Answer -------------------

If they had remained on the bus instead of deciding to get down, the resulting time delay could have been avoided and the rock would have fallen after the bus had passed
Think positive in life always and look for opportunities when u can help Others......
Many times in life, the opposite of Success is not Failure, its Quitting.

Winners never quit, quitters never Win....

2009-01-23T22:49:00.000+05:30

From Collection of My Favourite Forwarded Mails

WHO DESERVES MORE?

2009-01-02T00:14:00.000+05:30

1. Do not worry about those who have come thru boats...

Our forces can easily defeat them.

WORRY about those who have come thru votes....

Those are our REAL ENEMIES….

2. What a shame and disgrace to every citizen of India that the elite NSG Force was transported into ordinary BEST buses, whereas our cricketers are transported into state of the art luxury buses, these Jawans lay down their lives to protect every Indian and these cricketers get paid even if they lose a match, we worship these cricketers and forget the martyrdom of these brave Jawans.

The Jawans should be paid the salaries of the cricketers and the cricketers should be paid the salaries of the Jawans.

3. An ace shooter shoots and gets gold medal, govt gives 1cr, another shooter dies while shooting terrorist, govt gives 5 lakh.

WHO DESERVES MORE?

Employee woh hai

2008-12-19T10:57:00.000+05:30

Employee woh hai

jo aksar fasta hai

interviews ke sawaal me

badi companiyon ke jal me

boss aur client ke bawaal me

Employee woh hai

jise intezaar hai

weekend night par dhoom machane

ka

boss ke chhuti par jane ka

increment ki khabar aane ka

Employee woh hai

jo sochta hai

kaash padhai par dhyaan diya

hota

kaash teacher se panga na liya

hota

kaash ishq na kiya hota......

Employee woh hai

jo pak gaya hai

meetings ki jhelai me

submissions ki gehraai me

teamwork ki chataai me

Employee woh hai

jo laga rahta hai

schedule ko fislane me

targets ko khiskane me

roz naye naye bahane banaane me

Employee woh hai

jo lunch time me breakfast leta

hai

dinner time me lunch karta hai

aur

commutation ke waqt soya karta

hai

Employee woh hai

jo paagal hai

chai aur samose ke pyaar mey

cigarette ke khumar mey

birdwatching ke wichaar mey

Employee woh hai

jo khoya hai

reminders ke jawab me

na milne wale hisab me

Behtar bhavisya ke khwab me

Sher ka shikar

2008-12-11T22:41:00.000+05:30

Ek din ek kutta jungle main raasta kho gaya. Tabhi usane dekha ek sher uskii taraf aa raha hai. Kutte ki saans sookh gayi. "Aaj to kaam tamaam mera!" usne socha. Phir usne saamane kuchh sookhi haddiyan padi dekhi. Woh aate hue sher ki taraf peeth kar ke baith gaya aur ek sookhi hadii ko choosane laga aur zor zor se bolne laga, "wah! Sher ko khaane ka maza hi kuchh aur hai. Ek aur mil jaaye to poori daawat ho jayegi!" Aur usne zor se dakaar mara. Is bar sher sakate mein aa gayaa. Usne socha "ye kutta to sher ka shikar karta hai! Jaan bacha kara bhago!" Aur sher wahan se champat ho gaya.

Ped par baitha ek Bandar yeh sab tamasha dekh raha tha. Usne socha yeh mauka achha hai sher ko sari kahani bata deta hoon - sher se dosti ho jayegi aur usase zindagi bhar ke liye jaan ka khatra dur ho jayega. Woh phataphat sher ke pichhe bhaga. Kutte ne Bandar ko jaate hue dekh liya aur samajh gaya ki koi locha hai. Udhar Bandar ne sher ko sab bata diya ki kaise kutte ne use bewakoof banaya hai. Sher zor se dahada, "chal mere sath abhi uski leela kahatam karta hu" aur Bandar ko apani peeth par baitha kar sher kutte ki taraf lapka.

Kutte ne sher ko aate dekha to ek bar phir uskii taraf peeth karke baith gaya aur zor zor se bolne laga, "Is Bandar ko bheje ek ghanta ho gaya saala ek sher phasa kar nahi la sakta!" J J J

2008-12-05T22:47:00.000+05:30

12 Ways to Know That You Love Someone

TWELVE:
You talk with him/her late at night and when you go to bed you still think of him/her.

ELEVEN:
You walk really slowly when you are with him/her.

TEN:
You don't feel Ok when he/she is far away.

NINE:
You smile when you hear his/her voice.

EIGHT:
When you look at him/her,you do not see other people around you. You see only him/her..

SIX:
He/She is everything you want to think.

FIVE:
You realise that you smile every time you look at him/her.

FOUR:
You would do anything to see him/her.

THREE:
While you have been reading this, there was a person in your mind all the time.

TWO:
You've been so busy thinking of that person that you didn't notice that number 7 is missing.

ONE:
You are going to check above if that's true and now you are silently laughing to yourself.

A smile from God....beautiful

2008-12-01T20:55:00.002+05:30

"A smile from God....beautiful"

One in a million shot

A smile from God!

Send God's smile to someone you want to bless today, I just did.

ATS- Helpline No

2008-12-01T20:51:00.001+05:30

In case you come across any suspicious activity, any suspicious movement
or have any information to tell to the Anti-Terror Squad, please take a
Note of the new ALL INDIA TOLL-FREE Terror Help-line "1090".

Your city's Police or Anti-Terror squad will take action as quickly as
possible.
Remember that this single number 1090 is valid all over India This is a
toll free number and can be dialed from mobile phones also.
Moreover, the identity of the caller will be kept a secret.
Let us make each and every citizen of India aware about this facility.

Please forward this mail to as many people as possible, and tell
everyone individually also.

Be thankful for what you have

2008-12-01T20:38:00.001+05:30

Be thankful for what you have

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet.
He held up a sign which said: 'I am blind, please help.'
There were only a few coins in the hat.

A man was walking by.
He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat.
He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words.
He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up.
A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy.
That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were.
The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, 'Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?'

The man said, 'I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way.'
What he had written was: 'Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it.'

Do you think the first sign and the second sign were saying the same thing?

Of course both signs told people the boy was blind.
But the first sign simply said the boy was blind.
The second sign told people they were so lucky that they were not blind.
Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have.
Be creative.
Be innovative.
Think differently and positively.

Invite others towards good with wisdom.
Live life with no excuse and love with no regrets.
When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile.
Face your past without regret.
Handle your present with confidence.
Prepare for the future without fear.
Keep the faith and drop the fear.

Great men say, 'Life has to be an incessant process of repair and reconstruction, of discarding evil and developing goodness…. In the journey of life, if you want to travel without fear, you must have the ticket of a good conscience.'
THANKS

drinking and driving don't do at a time

2008-12-01T20:25:00.001+05:30

I went to a party Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I drank soda instead.

I really felt proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.

I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight.

As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet.

I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn't see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load.

As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
"The other guy is drunk," Mom,
And now I'm the one who will pay.

I'm lying here dying, Mom....
I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon.

There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I'll die in a short time.

I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn't think.

He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.

Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.

The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.

Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom,
Put "GOOD BOY” on my grave.

Someone should have told him, Mom
, Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom
, I would still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you, you were always there.

I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?

Someone took the effort to write this poem. So please, forward this to as many people as you can.

And see if we can get a chain going around the world that will make people understand that drinking and driving don't do at a time.

Artistic paper work

2008-11-29T07:21:00.001+05:30

BEST ONE

*
*

1996 act section "49-O" your voting right

2008-11-29T07:08:00.001+05:30

1996 act section "49-O" your voting right

Did you know that there is a system in our constitution, as per the 1969 act, in section " 49-O" that a person can go to the polling booth, confirm his identity, get his finger marked and convey the presiding election officer that he doesn't want to vote anyone!

Yes such a feature is available, but obviously these leaders have never disclosed it.

This is called "49-O".

Why should you go and say " I VOTE NOBODY"... because, in a ward, if a candidate wins, say by 123 votes, and that particular ward has received "49-O" votes more than 123, then that polling will be cancelled and will have to be re-polled. Not only that, but the candidature of the contestants will be removed and they cannot contest the re-polling, since people had already expressed their decision on them.

This would bring fear into parties and hence look for genuine candidates for their parties for election. This would change the way; of our whole political system.... it is seemingly surprising why the election commission has not revealed such a feature to the public....

Please spread this news to as many as you know...

Seems to be a wonderful weapon against corrupt parties in India ... show your power, expressing your desire not to vote for anybody, is even more powerful than voting... so don't miss your chance. So either vote, or vote not to vote (vote 49-O) and pass this info on...

Use your voting right for a better INDIA

Share this with As many as U can.....coz Sharing is Caring..........it is Caring abt.... Our Mother India

An Immoral Story with a Moral

2008-11-29T07:05:00.000+05:30

Jack and Max are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.

Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"

So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Father, may I smoke while I pray?"

The Priest replies, "No, my son, you may not! That's utter disrespect to our religion."

Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.

Max says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."

And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, "Father, may I pray while I smoke?"

To which the Priest eagerly replies, "By all means, my son. By all means. You can always pray whenever you want to."

* Moral of the story is ... The reply you get depends on the question you ask.

Creativity by the biggest Animal

2008-11-29T06:57:00.002+05:30

Creativity by the biggest Animal..believe it or not ...!!

Amazing Striped Icebergs

2008-11-29T06:54:00.000+05:30

Amazing Striped Icebergs

Icebergs in the Antarctic area sometimes have
stripes, formed by

layers of snow that react to different conditions.

Blue stripes are often created when a crevice in the ice sheet

fills up with meltwater and freezes so quickly that no bubbles form.

When an iceberg falls into the sea, a layer of salty seawater can

freeze to the underside. If this is rich in algae, it can form a

green stripe.

Brown, black and yellow lines are caused by sediment, picked up

when the ice sheet grinds downhill towards the sea.

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

... Is this amazing??

Antarctica Frozen Wave Pixs - Nature is amazing!

The water
froze the instant the wave broke through the

ice.
That's what it is like in Antarctica
where it is the

coldest
weather in decades. Water freezes the instant

it comes in
contact with the air. The temperature of the

water is
already some degrees below freezing.

Just look at
how the wave froze in mid-air!!!

Having the
Internet means that we get to see something

that we never
imagined! Pass it on for others to enjoy!

DATE WITH A WOMAN

2008-11-29T06:47:00.000+05:30

DATE WITH A WOMAN

After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out

to dinner and a movie. She said I love you but I know this other woman

loves you and would love to spend some time with you.

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has

been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three

children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.

That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.

'What's wrong, are you well,' she asked? My mother is the type of woman

who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign

of bad news.

'I thought that it would be pleasant to be with you,' I responded. 'Just

the two of us.'

She thought about it for a moment, and then said, 'I would like that

very much.'

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit

nervous.

When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be

nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had

curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate

her last wedding anniversary.

She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's.

'I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were

impressed, 'she said, as she got into the car. 'They can't wait to hear

about our meeting'. We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant,

was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First

Lady.

After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Large print. Half way through

the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A

nostalgic smile was on her lips.

'It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,' she

said.

'Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor,' I

responded.

During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation - nothing

extraordinary, but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We

talked so much that we missed the movie.

As we arrived at her house later, she said, 'I'll go out with you again,

but only if you let me invite you.' I agreed.

'How was your dinner date?' asked my wife when I got home. 'Very nice.

Much more so than I could have imagined,' I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened

so suddenly that I didn't have time to do anything for her.

Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant

receipt from the same place mother and I had dined.

An attached note said: 'I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that

I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you

and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant

for me.

I love you, son.'

At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: 'I LOVE

YOU!' and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in

life is more important than God and your family. Give them the time they

deserve, because these things cannot be put off till 'some other time.'

Pass this along to everyone with an aging parent,

to a child,

to an adult,

to anyone with a parent and most importantly,

to someone you truly love.

A good one

2008-11-29T06:40:00.000+05:30

Mr. Mervyn Silva comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around
his neck: She said " I have great news! I'm a month overdue. I think we're
going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out
for sure, we can't tell anybody."

The next day, Mrs. Silva receives a telephone call from the Ceylon
Electricity Board because the electricity bill has not been paid.

'Am I speaking to Mrs. Silva ?' ,

'Yes, speaking'

CEB guy: ' You're a month overdue, you know!

' How do YOU know ? ' stammers Mrs Silva.

'Well, ma'am, it's in our files!' says the CEB guy .

'What are you saying? It's in your files .........'HOW?????'

'Yes ............ We have a system to find out who's overdue'

'GOD!!!!!!......... This is too much..........'

'Madam, I am sorry....I am following orders, I have to inform you that you
are overdue!'

'I know that......let me talk to my Husband about it tonight. He will speak
to your Company tomorrow '

That night, she tells her husband about the call, and he, mad as a bull, (as
usual, you guess!) rushes to CEB office the next day.

'What's going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What
business is that of yours?' Mervyn shouts.

'Just calm down,' says the lady at the reception at CEB, 'it's nothing
serious. All you have to do is pay us.'

'PAY you? And if I refuse?'''

'Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off.'

'And what would my wife do then?' the husband asks, alarmed !!!!!!!!!

'I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a Candle !!!!

Defining Kiss

2008-11-29T06:39:00.000+05:30

Prof of Economics : Kiss is that thing for which the demand is always higher than the supply.

Prof. of Accountancy : Kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned.

Prof. of Algebra : Kiss is infinity because two divided by nothing.

Prof. of Geometry : Kiss is the shortest distance between two lips.

Prof. of Physics : Kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart.

Prof. of Chemistry : Kiss is the reaction of the interaction between two hearts.

Prof. of Zoology : Kiss is the interchange of salivary bacteria.

Prof. of Physiology : Kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicularisoris muscles in the state of contraction.

Prof. of Dentistry : Kiss is infectious and antiseptic.

Prof. of Statistics : Kiss is an event whose probability depends on the vital statistics of 36-24-36.

Prof. of Philosophy : Kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth and homage for the old.

Prof. of English : Kiss is a noun that is used as a conjunction; it is more common than proper; it is spoken in the plural and it is applicable to all.

Prof. of Architecture : Kiss is a process which builds a solid bond between the two dynamic objects

Prof. of Comp.Science : What is a kiss? It seems to be an undefined variable

Tuch Tharav....Infinite loop....

2008-11-29T06:37:00.000+05:30

तो- काय खाऊ या?

ती- काहीही चालेल.

तो- पावभाजी आणि व्हेज पुलाव खाऊ या?

ती- शी केव्हढी ऑईली असते. मला पिंपल्स येतात.

तो- मग नुस्तंच चहा-ब्रेड सँडविच?

ती- मला इथं मरणाची भूक लागलीये, अन तू मला चहा-ब्रेड देणार?

तो- मग तूच सांग काय खायचं?

ती- काहीही चालेल..!!

..

तो- मग आता आपण काय करू या?

ती- काहीही. तुच ठरव.

तो- पिक्चर बघू या मस्त? बरेच दिवस झलेत?

ती- नको. वेस्ट ऑफ टाईम!

तो- मग बागेत चल, बॅडमिंटन खेळू या.

ती- डोकं फिरलंय का? बाहेर ऊन बघ किती ते..

तो- मग कॉफीशॉपमध्ये तरी जाऊ या.

ती- नको. पुर्ण दिवस झोप येत नाही कॉफी प्याल्यावर.

तो- मग तुच सांग, काय करू या?

ती- काहीही. तुच ठरव..!!

..

तो- जाऊ दे. सरळ घरीच जाऊ या झालं.

ती- काहीही. तुच ठरव.

तो- बसनं जाऊ या?

ती- शी केवढी गर्दी. अन कसकसले वास येतात त्या बसमध्ये.

तो- ठीके. टॅक्सीने जाऊ या मग.

ती- पैसे जास्त झालेत का? एवढ्याशा अंतरासाठी टॅक्सी?

तो- ठीक. चल मग, चालतच जाऊ.

ती- किती दुष्ट तु? रिकाम्या पोटी मला चालायला लावतोस?

तो- ठीक. मग आधी जेवू या?

ती- व्हाटेव्हर!

तो- काय खाऊ या?

ती- तुच ठरव..!!

Its all about Wives

2008-11-29T06:35:00.000+05:30

Its all about Wives

My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.

************

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

************

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

************

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor."

I asked her, "Where's the car?"

She replied, "In the lake."

************

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

************

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.

************

My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate.

So I got myself two girlfriends.

************

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

************

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"

The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

************

A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."

The next day he received a hundred letters.

They all said the same: "You can have mine."

*************

It's not true that married men live longer than single men.

It only seems longer.

*************

Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

*************

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

PRICELESS WORDS

2008-11-29T06:32:00.001+05:30

PRICELESS WORDS

A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover.

He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.

He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping. Love You!"

Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.

His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?"

His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious.

Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door". Confused, the man asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!"

His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said, "LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!"

Moral : Self-induced hangover - $ 400.00
Broken crockery - $ 800.00
Breakfast - $ 10.00
Saying the Right Thing While Drunk – "PRICELESS "

MEN ARE BETTER FRIENDS!

2008-11-28T07:25:00.001+05:30

MEN ARE BETTER FRIENDS!

Women: A wife was not at home for a whole night. So, the very next morning, she tells her husband that she stayed at her girlfriend's apartment over night. The husband calls 10 of her best girlfriend's and none of them confirm that.

Men: A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the very next morning, that he stayed at his friend's apartment over night. So the wife calls 10 of his best friends: 5 of them confirm that he stayed at their apartments that night, and the other 5 are claiming that he still is there with them!

Conclusion of the story: Men are better friends!!!!

A very Interesting Conversation

2008-11-28T07:23:00.001+05:30

A VERY INTERESTING CONVERSATION

An Atheist Professor of Philosophy was speaking to his Class on the Problem Science has
with GOD, the ALMIGHTY. He asked one of his New Christian Students to stand and . . .

Professor : You are a Christian, aren't you, son ?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor : So, you Believe in GOD ?
Student : Absolutely, sir.
Professor : Is GOD Good ?
Student : Sure.
Professor : Is GOD ALL - POWERFUL ?
Student : Yes.
Professor : My Brother died of Cancer even though he Prayed to GOD to Heal him.
Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill.
But GOD didn't. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent )

Professor : You can't answer, can you ? Let's start again, Young Fella.
Is GOD Good?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Is Satan good ?
Student : No.
Professor : Where does Satan come from ?
Student : From . . . GOD . . .
Professor : That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this World?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Evil is everywhere, isn't it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?
Student : Yes.
Professor : So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer)

Professor : Is there Sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness?
All these terrible things exist in the World, don't they?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor : So, who Created them ?

(Student had no answer)

Professor : Science says you have 5 Senses you use to Identify and Observe the World around you.
Tell me, son . . . Have you ever Seen GOD?
Student : No, sir.
Professor : Tell us if you have ever Heard your GOD?
Student : No , sir.
Professor : Have you ever Felt your GOD, Tasted your GOD, Smelt your GOD?
Have you ever had any Sensory Perception of GOD for that matter?
Student : No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
Professor : Yet you still Believe in HIM?
Student : Yes.
Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol,
Science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student : Nothing. I only have my Faith.
Professor : Yes,Faith. And that is the Problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?
Professor : Yes.
Student : And is there such a thing as Cold?
Professor : Yes.
Student : No, sir. There isn't.

(The Lecture Theatre became very quiet with this turn of events )

Student : Sir, you can have Lots of Heat, even More Heat, Superheat, Mega Heat, White Heat,
a Little Heat or No Heat.
But we don't have anything called Cold.
We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero which is No Heat, but we can't go any further after that.
There is no such thing as Cold.
Cold is only a Word we use to describe the Absence of Heat.
We cannot Measure Cold.
Heat is Energy.
Cold is Not the Opposite of Heat, sir, just the Absence of it.

(There was Pin-Drop Silence in the Lecture Theatre )

Student : What about Darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as Darkness?
Professor : Yes. What is Night if there isn't Darkness?
Student : You're wrong again, sir.
Darkness is the Absence of Something
You can have Low Light, Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light . . .
But if you have No Light constantly, you have nothing and its called Darkness, isn't it?
In reality, Darkness isn't.
If it is, were you would be able to make Darkness Darker, wouldn't you?
Professor : So what is the point you are making, Young Man ?
Student : Sir, my point is your Philosophical Premise is flawed.
Professor : Flawed ? Can you explain how?
Student : Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality.
You argue there is Life and then there is Death, a Good GOD and a Bad GOD.
You are viewing the Concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure.
Sir, Science can't even explain a Thought.
It uses Electricity and Magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.
To view Death as the Opposite of Life is to be ignorant of the fact that
Death cannot exist as a Substantive Thing.
Death is Not the Opposite of Life: just the Absence of it.
Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your Students that they evolved from a Monkey?
Professor : If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process, yes, of course, I do.
Student : Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a Smile, beginning to realize where the Argument was going )

Student : Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and
Cannot even prove that this Process is an On-Going Endeavor,
Are you not teaching your Opinion, sir?
Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher?

(The Class was in Uproar )

Student : Is there anyone in the Class who has ever seen the Professor's Brain?

(The Class broke out into Laughter )

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's Brain, Felt it, touched or Smelt it? . . ..
No one appears to have done so.
So, according to the Established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol,
Science says that You have No Brain, sir.
With all due respect, sir, how do we then Trust your Lectures, sir?

(The Room was Silent. The Professor stared at the Student, his face unfathomable)

Professor : I guess you'll have to take them on Faith, son.
Student : That is it sir . . . Exactly !
The Link between Man & GOD is FAITH.
That is all that Keeps Things Alive and Moving.

NB:

I believe you have enjoyed the Conversation . . . and if so . . .
You'll probably want your Friends / Colleagues to enjoy the same . . . won't you?
Forward them to Increase their Knowledge . . . or FAITH.
That student was Albert Einstein.

Keeping Hopes may or may not improve future

2008-11-28T07:17:00.000+05:30

Ek
Gadha:- Yaar mera malik mujhe bahut maarta hai.

Dusara
Gadha:- To tu bhag kyu nahi jata.

Pehla Gadha:- Bhag
to jata.. par yahan future bada bright hai ....

malik ki khoobsurat beti jab shararat karti hai to malik
kahta hai,
"Teri shaadi gadhe se kar dunga...!"
Bas
isi ummeed me baitha hoon........

Keeping
Hopes may or may
not
improve future, but it will certainly reduce the pain of
Today!!!
Try again and again until success at your
feet.

5 Strangely Colored Beaches

2008-11-28T06:55:00.000+05:30

5 Strangely Colored
Beaches

Unless you're lucky enough to have visited
some of the unique shorelines below you'll probably be used to
seeing - at best - golden beaches on your travels. In fact a lot
of people believe golden sands to be the only option when it comes
to beaches. To prove otherwise, and to show off a few of the
world's most uniquely coloured stretches of sand, we present the
following selection....

Punalu'u
Beach

Punalu'u Beach is the most visited of the few
black sand beaches on Hawaii's Big Island and the stunningly black
sand is actually volcanic rock, deposited as lava and subsequently
cooled when met by the ocean. Apparently to take any of the sand
home would result in you being cursed by a volcano goddess by the
name of Pele.

Papakolea
Beach

One of only 2 green sand beaches in the world,
the truly magnificent sight of Papakolea Beach can be experienced
by travelling to Hawaii's Ka'u district. Again, the unique colour
of its sand can be attributed to volcanic activity - specifically,
the green hue belongs to the abundance of olivine crystals which
have been produced as a result of a nearby cinder cone erupting
and eroding.

See the beach on Google Maps.

Hyams
Beach

You may need to wear your shades when visiting
Hyams Beach in New South Wales, Australia, but not just due to the
sun. It's not surprising after looking at photos but this sublime
stretch of beach is home to the whitest sand in the world, an
honour awarded by the Guinness Book of Records.

Pfeiffer
Beach

The hills surrounding Pfeiffer Beach in Big Sur,
California, are rich in Manganese Garnet. A result of this being
washed down onto the beach is the colour scheme you can see above
- the entire stretch of sand has become a shifting, pink and
purple canvas. Although it's probably inedible, I can't help
picturing a bowl of Raspberry Ripple ice-cream every time I see
it.

Kaihalulu

You won't find many beaches elsewhere in the
world with sand as red as this one. Kaihalulu, or Red Sand Beach,
is situated on the island of Maui and can thank the neighbouring
cindercone hill for its intensely deep red
appearance.

Some gr8 Facts

2008-11-27T10:11:00.000+05:30

Some gr8 Facts

Coca-Cola was originally green.

The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

The name of all the continents end with the same
letter that they start with.

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

There are two credit cards for every person in the
United States.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using
the letters only on one row ! of the keyboard.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men!!

You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when u
sneeze,your heart stops for a millisecond.

It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into
the sky.

The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to
be the toughest tongue twister in the English
language.

If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you
try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood
vessel in your head or neck and die.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great
king from history.
Spades - King David
Clubs - Alexander the Great,
Hearts - Charlemagne
Diamonds - Julius Caesar.
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has
both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.

If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person
died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the
horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died
of natural causes.

What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield
wipers and laser printers all have in common?
Ans. - All invented by women.

Question - This is the only food that doesn't spoil.
What is this?
Ans. - Honey

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

A snail can sleep for three years.

All polar bears are left handed.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been
domesticated.

On average, people fear spiders more than they do
death.

Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and
'bump'.

Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the
left hand.

The ant always falls over on its right side when
intoxicated.

A dentist invented the electric chair.

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps
out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats
could have over million descendants.

Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the
bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
Most lipstick contains fish scales.

Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is
different.

And finally 99% of people who read this
will try to lick their elbow.

ENGINEERING MIRACLE-MALAYSIA...............

2008-11-26T22:23:00.000+05:30

ENGINEERING MIRACLE-MALAYSIA

Simple Exercise

2008-11-26T21:58:00.004+05:30

Sleepy? Here r some useful tips...

As a warm up, let's do some Tai Chi..	Follow like this to ease your neck & shoulder pain	Wa..wa.. aaa	Move to the right and then to the left
After that, move to the left and then to the right	Just follow. Don't force yourself to do 360 degrees, 180 degreeswill do. Bend down a bit like you gonna faint. Repeat a few times till you're bored	Grab anything on your desk and smash your head hard. If you are still sleepy smash harder	After that move your feet and swing your body a bit like this. Do it like it's nobody's business and remember to smile
Move your feet and body just a bit like this.... Do it like there's no problem at all...	And now more aggressive! Don't bother about what others say	Let go of all your stress...	If your boss ask what you are doing, move your head slowly like this and tell them you're dying in the office
When your boss walked off, get your colleague to join you and move your body like this. The more the merrier...	Finally, dance like a cat

Whom to blame

2008-11-25T23:16:00.002+05:30

Whom to blame

Boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage.

They were a Loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes.

When the boy was Around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle Open.

He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep It in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot The matter.

The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated by Its colour and drank it all.

It happened to be a poisonous medicine Meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother Hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She Was terrified how to face her husband.

When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child ,

He looked at his wife and uttered just five words.

QUESTIONS:

1. What were the five words?

2. What is the implication of this story?

ANSWER :

The husband just said "I am with you Darling"

The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive Behaviour.

The Child is dead. He can never be brought back to life.

There is no point In finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time to Keep the bottle away, this would not have happened.

No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she Needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.

If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would Be much fewer problems in the world. "A journey of a thousand miles Begins with a single step." Take off all your envies, jealousies, Unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are Actually not as difficult as you think.

MORAL OF THE STORY

Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame, Whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. By this Way we miss out some warmth in human relationship.

Deadlock....!

2008-11-25T23:06:00.000+05:30

Boss said to secretary: For a week we will go abroad,
so make arrangement.

Secretary make call to Husband: For a week my boss and
I will be going abroad, you look after yourself.

Husband make call to secret lover: My wife is going
abroad for a week, so lets spend the week together.

Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving
private tution: I have work for a week, so you need
not come for class.

Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for a
week I don't have class 'coz my teacher is busy. Lets
spend the week together.

Grandpa(the 1st boss ;) ) make call to his secretary: This week I am
spending my time with my grandson. We cannot attend
that meeting.

Secretary make call to her husband: This week my boss
has some work, we cancelled our trip.

Husband make call to secret lover: We cannot spend
this week together, my wife has cancelled her trip.

Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving
private tution: This week we will have class as usual.

Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, my
teacher said this week I have to attend class. Sorry I
can't give you company.

Grandpa make call to his secretary: Don't worry this
week we will attend that meeting, so make arrangement .

HOW IS IT ????
this is called dead lock.

The Engineers Life

2008-11-25T22:57:00.000+05:30

The Engineers Life.............

There are 2 people always next to you:
1 - The PM (Project Manager), giving a pleasant smile every time he sees you.

2 - The TL (Team Leader), busy in scheduling work for u .... And busy in his world

In between its you, who struggles with the deliverables and schedule.

The perfect picture is given below...... {Team leader -- U --PM}

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Ice Cream Treat!!!

2008-11-25T22:40:00.001+05:30

Have a lovely day with lovely Ice Cream……

20 Reasons Why Alcohol Should Be Served At Work

2008-11-25T22:31:00.001+05:30

20 Reasons Why Alcohol Should Be Served At Work

1. It's an incentive to show up.

2. It reduces stress.

3. It leads to more honest communications.

4. It reduces complaints about low pay.

5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.

6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.

7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.

8. It encourages carpooling.

9. Increased job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.

10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.

11. It makes fellow employees look better.

12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.

13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.

14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.

15. Suddenly, burping during a meeting isn't so embarrassing.

16. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.

17. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.

18. Everyone agrees they work better after they've had a couple of drinks.

19. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.

20. It's obviously a good idea ....

Records Held by Sachin Tendulkar

2008-11-25T22:23:00.000+05:30

"Sir" Tendulkar

Just have look at the records
held by Sachin Tendulkar. No wonder why British Prime Minister is
suggesting him for the honor of Sir

New Records................

1. Highest Run scorer in the Test Cricket

2. First Cricketer to pass 12000 run in the Test
Cricket

Records Held by Sachin Tendulkar

1. Highest Run scorer in the ODI

2. Most number
of hundreds in the ODI 41

3. Most number of nineties in the
ODI

4. Most number
of man of the matches(56) in the ODI's

5. Most number of man of
the series(14) in ODI's

6. Best average for man of
the matches in ODI's

7. First Cricketer to pass 10000
run in the ODI

8. First Cricketer to pass
15000 run in the ODI

9. He is the
highest run scorer in the world cup (1,796 at an average of 59.87 as on 20
March 2007)

10. Most number of the man of the
matches in the world cup

11. Most number of runs 1996 world
cup 523 runs in the 1996 Cricket World Cup at an average of 87.16

12. Most number of runs in the
2003 world cup 673 runs in 2003 Cricket World Cup, highest by any player in
a single Cricket World Cup

13. He was Player of the World Cup
Tournament in the 2003 Cricket World Cup.

14. Most number of Fifties in
ODI's 87

15. Appeared in Most Number of
ODI's 407

16. He is the only player to be in
top 10 ICC ranking for 10 years.

17. Most number of 100's in test's
38

18. He is one of the three batsmen
to surpass 11,000 runs in Test cricket, and the first Indian to do so

19. He is thus far the only
cricketer to receive the Rajiv Gandhi Khel Ratna, India 's highest sporting honor

20. In 2003, Wisden rated
Tendulkar as d No. 1 and Richards at No. 2 in all time Greatest ODI
player

21. In 2002, Wisden rated him as
the second greatest Test batsman after Sir Donald Bradman.

22. he was involved in unbroken
664-run partnership in a Harris Shield game in 1988 with friend and team
mate Vinod Kambli,

23. Tendulkar is the only player
to score a century in all three of his Ranji Trophy, Duleep Trophy and Irani
Trophy debuts

24. In 1992, at the age of 19,
Tendulkar became the first overseas born player to represent Yorkshire

25. Tendulkar has been granted the
Rajiv Gandhi Khel Ratna, Arjuna Award and Padma Shri by Indian government.
He is the only Indian cricketer to get

all of them.

26. Tendulkar has scored over 1000
runs in a calendar year in ODI's 7 times

27. Tendulkar has scored 1894 runs
in calendar year in ODI's most by any batsman

28. He is the highest earning
cricketer in the world

29. He has the least percentage of
the man of the matches awards won when team looses a match.. Out of his 56
man of the match awards only 5 times

India has lost.

30. Tendulkar most number man of
match awards(10) against Australia

31. In August of 2003, Sachin
Tendulkar was voted as the "Greatest Sportsman" of the country in
the sport personalities category in the Best of India poll

conducted by Zee News.

32. In November 2006, Time
magazine named Tendulkar as one of the Asian Heroes.

33. In December 2006, he was named
"Sports person of the Year

34. The current India Poised
campaign run by The Times of India has nominated him as the Face of New
India next to the likes of Amartya Sen and

Mahatma Gandhi among others.

35. Tendulkar was the first
batsman in history to score over 50 centuries in international cricket

36. Tendulkar was the first
batsman in history to score over 75 centuries in international cricket:79
centuries

37. Has the most overall runs in
cricket, (ODIs+Tests+Twenty20s), as of 30 June 2007 he had accumulated
almost 26,000 runs overall.

38. Is second on the most number
of runs in test cricket just after Brian Lara

39. Sachin
Tendulkar with Sourav Ganguly hold the world record for the maximum number
of runs scored by the opening partnership. They have

put
together 6,271
runs in 128 matches

40. The
20 century partnerships for opening pair with Sourav Ganguly is a world
record

41. Sachin Tendulkar and Rahul
Dravid hold the world record for the highest partnership in ODI matches
when they scored 331 runs against New Zealand

in 1999

42. Sachin Tendulkar has been
involved in six 200 run partnerships in ODI matches - a record that he
shares with Sourav Ganguly and Rahul Dravid

43. Most Centuries in a calendar
year: 9 ODI centuries in 1998

44. Only player to have over 100
innings of 50+ runs (41 Centuries and 87 Fifties)(as of 18th Nov, 2007)

45. the only player ever to cross
the 13,000-14,000 and 15,000 run marks IN ODI.

46. Highest individual score among
Indian batsmen (186* against New Zealand
at Hyderabad
in 1999).

47. The score of 186* is listed
the fifth highest score recorded in ODI matches

48. Tendulkar has scored over 1000
ODI runs against all major Cricketing nations.

49. Sachin was the fastest to
reach 10,000 runs taking 259 innings and has the highest batting average
among batsmen with over 10,000 ODI runs

50. Most number of Stadium
Appearances: 90 different Grounds

51. Consecutive ODI Appearances:
185

52. On his debut, Sachin Tendulkar
was the second youngest debutant in the world

53. When Tendulkar scored his
maiden century in 1990, he was the second youngest to score a century

54. Tendulkar's record of five
test centuries before he turned 20 is a current world record

55. Tendulkar holds the current
record (217 against NZ in 1999/00 Season) for the highest score in Test
cricket by an Indian when captaining the side

56. Tendulkar has scored centuries
against all test playing nations.[7] He was the third batman to achieve the
distinction after Steve Waugh and Gary

Kirsten

57. Tendulkar has 4 seasons in
test cricket with 1000 or more runs - 2002 (1392 runs), 1999 (1088 runs),
2001 (1003 runs) and 1997 (1000 runs).[6]

Gavaskar is the only other Indian
with four seasons of 1000+ runs

58. He is second most number of
seasons with over 1000 runs in world.

59. On 3 January 2007 Sachin
Tendulkar (5751) edged past Brian Lara's (5736) world record of runs scored
in Tests away from home

60. Tendulkar and Brian Lara are
the fastest to score 10,000 runs in Test cricket history. Both of them
achieved this in 195 innings

61. Second Indian after Sunil
Gavaskar to make over 10,000 runs in Test matches

62. Became the first Indian to
surpass the 11,000 Test run mark and the third International player behind
Allan Border and Brian Lara.

63. Tendulkar is fourth on the
list of players with most Test caps. Steve Waugh (168 Tests), Allan Border
(158 Tests), Shane Warne (145 Tests) have

appeared in more games than
Tendulkar

64.. Tendulkar has played the most
number of Test Matches(144) for India (Kapil Dev is second with
131 Test appearances).

65. First to 25,000 international
runs

66. Tendulkar's 25,016 runs in
international cricket include 14,537 runs in ODI's, 10,469 Tests runs and
10 runs in the lone Twenty20 that India has

played.

67. On December 10, 2005,
Tendulkar made his 35th century in Tests at Delhi
against Sri Lanka
. He surpassed Sunil Gavaskar's record of 34 centuries

to become the man with the most
number of hundreds in Test cricket.

68. Tendulkar is the only player
who has 150 wkts and more than 15000 runs in ODI

69. Tendulkar is the only player
who has 40 wkts and more than 11000 runs in Tests

70. Only batsman to have 100
hundreds in the first class cricket

So Pass this to all your friends who are indians and take pride to be an
indian !!!!!

The Cellular Jail

2008-11-24T22:01:00.000+05:30

The Cellular Jail

The Cellular Jail (also known as Kālā Pānī, literally 'Black water', a term for the deep sea and hence exile) situated in the Andaman and Nicobar Islands (India) was completed in 1906. The prison was known to house many notable Indian activists during the struggle for India's independence.

The Constuction of the Cellular
Jail:

From 1896 the construction of Cellular Jail
was started and it was completed in 1906 with 698 cells. The Jail was
constructed with seven wings, spreading out like a seven-petal flower.
In its centre it had a tower with a turret. Connected to this were the
three storey high seven wings with 698 isolated cells. This is why it
is called the Cellular Jail.The structural
speciality of the Cellular Jail is that the whole jail consists of
cells. Each cell was meant for one inmate only and hence the name.
Cellular Jail originally had seven, three storeyed wings with a total of
698 cells, radiating from a central tower which had an additional storey
to facilitate watch and ward.

Veer Savarkar

For the assassination of Collector Jackson
of Nasik District in the Nasik Conspiracy Case Veer Vinayak savarkar
was convicted and sent to the Cellular jail on 7th April, 1911. According
to Savarkar Freedom Fighters were made to do hard labour. They had to
peel coconuts and take out oil from them. They were forced to go around
like bullocks to take out oil from mustard seeds. Outside they were
forced to clear the jungles and trees on hillside levelling marshy land.
They were flogged on refusal. On top of this they did not even get a
full meal every day.

Cellular jail(main enterance)

Corridor of one of the seven wings of Andaman Cellular Jail

The inside of the Cellular Jail at Port Blair in Andaman Nicobar.

The Kuala Lumpure prison

The Way Punishment was Given to the Freedom Fighter

Bedi Type 1

Bedi Type 2

Bedi Type 3

The Hanging roap and the Iron loop

The Saheeds

Cellular Jail at Night

Modern Panchtantra Story [ IT HUMOR ]

2008-11-24T14:43:00.002+05:30

Modern Panchtantra Story [ IT HUMOR ]

Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.

One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river.. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (the woodcutter and the axe),

He started praying to the River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river..

As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, "Is this your computer ?" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, "No."

She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his..

Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"

Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his..

The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."

The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give

Him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer

Asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?"

The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM !". So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!

Moral :If you're not up-to-date with technology trends, it's better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

New Amazing SHIP

2008-11-24T00:46:00.001+05:30

Amazing Ship